The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Randomize
