i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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