I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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