You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
