is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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