i just had sex bonerless
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Randomize
