you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
