He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
