I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
two words...techno handjob
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
i now understand why vodka
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Randomize
