Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
