We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
