Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
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