told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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