oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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