I wish I could teleport
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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