ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Randomize
