Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Randomize
