Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Randomize
