Its about making memories worth repressing
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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