At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
