i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
