drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Randomize
