Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
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