he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
