Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
