I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
