This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
