I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
