for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
