You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
