plz talk dirty to me
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
