She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
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