The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize
