she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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