my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
people are starting to question the shark bite story
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
