He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
