I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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