I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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