Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
