I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
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