fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
