K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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