Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
