508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
