im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
