Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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