Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
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