found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
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