you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
