Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Randomize
