I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Randomize
