a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
