she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
This girl is more easily done than said...
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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