I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
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